Essay for Business School

Below is one of the essays I submitted for one of the country's top business schools. The question is "What matters most to you, and why?". You may recognize bits and pieces from previous posts. It's in Her hands now . . .


I knew how to answer this question immediately. But, it never occurred to me that my topic would be an appropriate one for a business school essay. Sadly, I still had this residual preconception about what “b-schools” were like so I agonized over this question for weeks. Meditation and lots of personal reflection repeatedly brought me back to my answer. Even so, I fought writing about my topic because I assumed it simply would not be appropriate for an MBA candidate. Then it occurred to me: I answered this question a few years ago when I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I thought to myself, “An MBA wrote that book and it focuses on creating high levels of trust and developing strong interdependent relationships. Surely, then, it must be OK to reveal my ‘soft’ side to ____.” Upon further investigation, it became obvious that _____is exactly the type of school that would appreciate hearing about what truly matters most to me: my marriage.

Before I continue, I’d like to clarify one important thing: the way I feel about my marriage and husband does NOT come from an I’m-nothing-without-a-man place. My feelings stem from the facts that I:

* Spent years in therapy as an adult working through the trauma, pain, and anxiety of my awful childhood.

* Spend considerable time, energy, and resources developing emotionally, spiritually, and professionally.

* Turned down two marriage proposals because I knew intuitively they were from the wrong men.

* Was one month shy of my 34th birthday when I walked down the aisle on _____ 2003.

A brief overview of my life is in order. My three younger brothers and I were raised in a two-bedroom apartment in a Brooklyn neighborhood ravaged by substance abuse, low literacy, and the generational cycles of domestic violence, poverty, and welfare dependency. Most of our neighbors were single women who had several children by the time they were 20. We were one of two families on the block where the siblings were all from the same set of parents and the couple was still together. College was perceived to be uppity at best and simply unimaginable at worst.

My father emotionally, financially, sexually, and physically abused my mother and emotionally and physically abused his children. He worked odd jobs to supplement our monthly welfare check, ate dinner holed up in his bedroom with my mother, and was a raging alcoholic. My brothers and I liked when he drank, though, because he became relaxed and giggly. My mother did the best she could with the limited internal and external resources she had.

I subconsciously escaped my dismal surroundings by reading voraciously. As a child, I never wanted to put my books down. I read walking to the bathroom and eating. If I didn’t have a book, I read milk cartons and cereal boxes. Judy Blume’s books were constant companions and I all but worshipped my well-worn library card. When Reading is Fundamental (RIF) came to our neighborhood, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. RIF, a children’s literacy organization, encouraged children to read by giving them books. Basically, RIF “paid” me to do what I absolutely loved to do. I dare say reading and learning quite literally saved my life.

Church was a frequent hiding place; I attended as many as five services a week. Although I never “felt the spirit”, spoke in tongues, and simply could not “accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior”, I preferred going to church than staying home. Hey, the songs were cool, I got to play the guitar, and I liked reading the Song of Solomon (the “sexy” chapter of the bible)!

Climbing my way out of the ghetto was paramount and I intuitively (because I did not have a single role model) knew the only way out was to get an education. And so, I went on an unheard-of journey (well, unheard of to both sides of my family and our neighbors, anyway): moving out of the block I was raised on, getting my own apartment in Manhattan (geographically, Manhattan is only seven miles away from my old neighborhood but, emotionally, it might as well be another country), going to college, getting a graduate degree, embarking on a career that has proven to be spiritually and financially rewarding, seeking the help of a therapist because I was determined not to repeat my parents’ mistakes, having an actual wedding, becoming a home-owner, carefully planning for children, etc.

From this Reader’s Digest version of my life, you can see that the fact I am even legally married is an enormous improvement over my upbringing. That I enjoy a loving, peaceful, passionate, and egalitarian marriage with a man I’ve been with for almost eight years is nothing short of a miracle. Our marriage is my home base. It does not matter how bad my day is, it is always much better the minute he hugs me. One look in his tawny eyes has the power to instantly cheer me up. Now that we work together in the company he founded a few years ago, well that just adds to my daily sense of joy. I cherish being intellectually stimulated by my life/business partner every single day.

My husband is intelligent, an entrepreneur, supportive, gentle, secure in his masculinity, a free thinker, and fiercely determined to make a difference in this world. I love him with every fiber of my being and bask in the love he so generously lavishes on me. From my research, I found that _____ representatives believe that most _____ MBAs excel by doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. Indeed, my husband and I are creating an extraordinary marriage grounded in love, trust, affection, honesty, friendship, solid communication, silliness, and mutual respect.

The main reason I am so drawn to your program is that you understand the value and importance of your students’ families and partners. I am also drawn to ______ because collaborative community is the hallmark of your program and you fully grasp that even though “Poets” will have to work harder to get through their quantitative courses, they can still make a robust contribution to the business world. I feel so strongly about ______ that I am applying to only one other MBA program that is within driving distance of my home. My husband and I - the B***** community of two - is really looking forward to living in, learning from, and contributing to the _______ community of thousands.